Adults ask this question so much you would think it was part of an introductory class on how to speak to kids. The first thing out of the majority of adult mouths is not “how are you?” “what’s been on your mind?” “anything new?” “what do you think is meaningful?” but rather a question that immediately sets the situation straight by defining those next few minutes of interaction as another time for proving in a child’s life. Oh and the kids are smart, they know the question is coming so much so that now they have beat us to it, they are itching to get the respect and acknowledgement and recognition and love from us that now the first thing out of their mouths when they step into the room is “I got an A on my chemistry test last week”. Which is code for hey I was recognized by the people that you hold in such a high authority and respect so will you finally give me some of that respect too? Ask them any of the questions above and they can’t answer them with anything but a few sentences or words, if that. They know you don’t care, because they’re just kids and even if you did really care their conversation skills are so underdeveloped and their thinking and feelings are so constricted that they literally do not have the ability to answer them. How are you? Good. What’s been on your mind? School. Anything new? No not really. Sound familiar? Sound like all the adults you know and colleagues you talk to? Ever think that they aren’t just boring people but are people that have grown up knowing that no one really cares except when it concerns something that portrays their achievements?
And if you aren’t “good” at school? Then just know that answering that question becomes a torment of self hate and loathing accompanied by a pressure that engulfs the psyche with anxiety. Ever have a native speaker of a language look to you for help because you took a few classes before? Then that person starts speaking to you and all you can do is freeze? Confidence gone in an instant and all you can muster are a few broken sentences that are more cognates than anything else? All the things you are good at, skills, miscellaneous tacit knowledge, all the things that make you feel good and confident didn’t matter in the moment because you were judging yourself and feeling judged. Now, you’re lucky because you can compose yourself and go back into the world knowing of all its beauty and intricacies with an understanding that that moment didn’t define you, hopefully. But a kid? They don’t get that relief because they quickly realize that they live in a world where every single person cares about nothing but their grades or whatever sport they are doing to compensate for grades because either way the question really is “are you going to be important in the future?”
So boring and closed minded, but it’s not the adult’s fault. They don’t know what else to ask. They too are unequipped with anything else to talk about but achievement driven and status showing topics because guess what that’s all they’ve ever seen as something that people care about since they were well, kids.